All this talk about "re-defining beauty" is weird to me.
I would think if we are honest, we don't view every single person as beautiful physically. We can talk all we want, but deep down inside, we don't really always see beauty in every person we look at during our first impression phase. The thing is, we all have a different opinion on that subject too, so why does it matter so much? I don't really see that that is the problem. The problem IMO is the value we place on that physical beauty that we have very little control over. We don't get to pick our face before we're born, we don't choose how our metabolism will work, we don't choose if we'll have a deformity or have a debilitating accident along the way that alters our appearance. Sure, we can exercise and eat right to try to maintain a certain body type, but we all know that doesn't always help either. And those girls that appear so pretty... any idea how much money they spend on products to get them to that place? It's a crazy mask of artwork. At some point, it's gonna come off.
It bugs me when I see so many comments on pics of good looking actors that say "I wanna have your babies" -- What makes you think that guy would be a good father? Being hot doesn't make good father material. I don't think this mentality is relegated to internet comments either, I see people of all ages aching to date someone that they know nothing about other than their looks. I just don't get that. To those of you who are thinking in the back of your mind that I am one of those people, I assure you, I am not. Yes, I pin pics of good looking celebs in my Pinterest account, but I have never said I wanted to date/marry/sleep with any of them. They are simply artwork to me. God did a good job and I admire His workmanship. ;) I realize that I don't know who they are, so there is nothing in me that thinks beyond the art status. If I'm going to be attracted to a guy, it's going to be based on getting to know his character... true beauty.
We elevate the physically beautiful people based on something they did nothing to obtain. We push away and ignore and abuse those who we deem ugly. THAT is the problem. It's no different than racial discrimination I would say. To treat someone based on a characteristic they can't control is wrong. We should value ALL humans based on the fact that they are created in the image of God. Their true beauty should never be on the outside, but only on the inside where they have a choice.
Inner beauty is a different story. That is where we all have opportunity to make a choice and grow and improve our own self and nothing can stop us. We all have equal opportunity to become a better, more beautiful person. When we talk inner beauty, there are still pretty people, and there are ugly people, but this time, it's not out of their control. If we're going to redefine beauty, this is where we must start. Trying to force society to see fat girls as beautiful isn't getting us very far. (that's the only thing I've really seen being pushed so far) I have seen plenty of pretty fat girls, and I've seen ugly skinny girls, it just isn't what is important. I've known numerous people that I put in one box on first impression , yet on further encounters, moved them to the other box based on who came out from the inside.
Dustin Hoffman on beauty
Watch this clip ^^ Dustin had the epiphany. This is an incredible revelation.
May we all grow in seeing each other as valuable because we were all created in the image of God. The packaging doesn't matter, it's the character that really counts. What have we missed out on in life by discounting someone because they are not our standard of beauty?
Saturday, May 30, 2015
Monday, April 27, 2015
Why Does it Matter?
Origin. Did God create us, or did we evolve from nothing? Why does it matter?
I'm not going to get into the debate over which is true, I want to talk about why the answer matters.
I enjoy a good debate, but there was one time a few years ago where I realized something important. Without common ground foundational truths, we can't have a functional debate and actually come together on an issue. When the trunk of truth is different, the branches of the argument are on two different trees.
Today there are so many issues in the news causing chaos in so many lives because we don't agree on the issues. We are a nation divided, constantly fighting, neither side willing to listen and understand. But why? Is lack of common sense the issue? Are people stupid? Are people hateful? Do people lack compassion? I'd like to suggest that the biggest problem we face is that we are on two different trees. What tree we subscribe to ultimately determines our beliefs on the issues.
I belong to the God tree. I believe that God created each and every one of us intentionally and with purpose. I believe that He crafted me exactly how He wanted me to be so that I could fulfill the amazing plan He had in mind for my life. I believe this is true of every single person on the planet throughout time, regardless of the individual's view of God. I believe that God singled us out to be made in His image and to be receivers of His love.
The other tree says that we evolved from some "lower" life form. We are an accident. We are no different than the animals. There is no purpose to our being here, we are not special, we have no value in the universe. Survival of the fittest.
These two wildly different viewpoints affect our beliefs on every issue we are fighting over.
- If I was created by a loving God who made me specifically how He wants me, then I believe He did not make a mistake in making me female. If I am just a random collection of cells that happened to turn out human, I can believe that I evolved wrong, therefore I can mutilate my body to make myself however I want to be.
- If I believe God is the initiator of all life, I will honor an unborn child's right to live the same as I would any other person. If I believe we are all an accident, I will be ok killing my unborn baby because it is inconvenient or "defective."
- If I believe God is my Creator, I will believe that He also wrote the 'operation manual' and knows how I should live my life in the best possible way. I'll believe that He will show me which acts are harmful to me and which are good. If I believe there is no plan for my life and no source for an absolute moral code, I will do whatever feels good in the moment and then be very confused when my life falls apart.
- If I believe that God has promised to take care of my every need, I will trust in Him and not stress out over every obstacle I face. I will not compromise my personal values for the sake of my own survival, and I will be generous with what I have, knowing my Heavenly Father will make sure I still have what I need. If I am alone in the universe and no one is looking after me, I will do what it takes to survive, not caring who I trample in the process. Survival of the fittest. If I am stronger, I will take what I want.
Now I do realize that these are somewhat extreme and we all fall in the spectrum somewhere. I am not perfect in walking out what I say I believe all the time, and those on the other tree don't always act out the extremes of what I'm saying, but I do believe the basic thought here is valid. People still have free will to do worse or better than what they believe and often do. I'm just trying to lay out what the origin belief can lead us to believe about humanity and how that affects where we fall on social issues.
Does human life have value and purpose? If it is created by God, yes... but if it's all a cosmic accident, I don't know.
If God turns out to be the false tree, I still have no regrets. I believe in the path I'm on. I want to walk in love, to serve my fellow man, to value each and every life I encounter. I have observed how life works out for people who do the things God says are bad for us, and I choose to not go down that path. I don't want to live with the pain I see in their lives. My observations have led me to believe that what the Bible says is valid. I believe that God doesn't make mistakes, so I struggle to know how to love those who say He does in their attempts to live out a life outside of how God made them. This is a difficult road to navigate, but I am trying. I want to choose love, I want to express God's goodness to everyone. I don't always succeed, but with His help, I'm learning and growing every day. I see His plan and how I fit into it, so I submit myself to Him in order to fulfill His plan for me. I am most happy and satisfied with my life when I'm doing what He is showing me to do. Only in that place do I find freedom. That is why I wholeheartedly stand with the God tree. He has proven Himself true in my life too many times for me to believe any other idea.
I'm not going to get into the debate over which is true, I want to talk about why the answer matters.
I enjoy a good debate, but there was one time a few years ago where I realized something important. Without common ground foundational truths, we can't have a functional debate and actually come together on an issue. When the trunk of truth is different, the branches of the argument are on two different trees.
Today there are so many issues in the news causing chaos in so many lives because we don't agree on the issues. We are a nation divided, constantly fighting, neither side willing to listen and understand. But why? Is lack of common sense the issue? Are people stupid? Are people hateful? Do people lack compassion? I'd like to suggest that the biggest problem we face is that we are on two different trees. What tree we subscribe to ultimately determines our beliefs on the issues.
I belong to the God tree. I believe that God created each and every one of us intentionally and with purpose. I believe that He crafted me exactly how He wanted me to be so that I could fulfill the amazing plan He had in mind for my life. I believe this is true of every single person on the planet throughout time, regardless of the individual's view of God. I believe that God singled us out to be made in His image and to be receivers of His love.
The other tree says that we evolved from some "lower" life form. We are an accident. We are no different than the animals. There is no purpose to our being here, we are not special, we have no value in the universe. Survival of the fittest.
These two wildly different viewpoints affect our beliefs on every issue we are fighting over.
- If I was created by a loving God who made me specifically how He wants me, then I believe He did not make a mistake in making me female. If I am just a random collection of cells that happened to turn out human, I can believe that I evolved wrong, therefore I can mutilate my body to make myself however I want to be.
- If I believe God is the initiator of all life, I will honor an unborn child's right to live the same as I would any other person. If I believe we are all an accident, I will be ok killing my unborn baby because it is inconvenient or "defective."
- If I believe God is my Creator, I will believe that He also wrote the 'operation manual' and knows how I should live my life in the best possible way. I'll believe that He will show me which acts are harmful to me and which are good. If I believe there is no plan for my life and no source for an absolute moral code, I will do whatever feels good in the moment and then be very confused when my life falls apart.
- If I believe that God has promised to take care of my every need, I will trust in Him and not stress out over every obstacle I face. I will not compromise my personal values for the sake of my own survival, and I will be generous with what I have, knowing my Heavenly Father will make sure I still have what I need. If I am alone in the universe and no one is looking after me, I will do what it takes to survive, not caring who I trample in the process. Survival of the fittest. If I am stronger, I will take what I want.
Now I do realize that these are somewhat extreme and we all fall in the spectrum somewhere. I am not perfect in walking out what I say I believe all the time, and those on the other tree don't always act out the extremes of what I'm saying, but I do believe the basic thought here is valid. People still have free will to do worse or better than what they believe and often do. I'm just trying to lay out what the origin belief can lead us to believe about humanity and how that affects where we fall on social issues.
Does human life have value and purpose? If it is created by God, yes... but if it's all a cosmic accident, I don't know.
If God turns out to be the false tree, I still have no regrets. I believe in the path I'm on. I want to walk in love, to serve my fellow man, to value each and every life I encounter. I have observed how life works out for people who do the things God says are bad for us, and I choose to not go down that path. I don't want to live with the pain I see in their lives. My observations have led me to believe that what the Bible says is valid. I believe that God doesn't make mistakes, so I struggle to know how to love those who say He does in their attempts to live out a life outside of how God made them. This is a difficult road to navigate, but I am trying. I want to choose love, I want to express God's goodness to everyone. I don't always succeed, but with His help, I'm learning and growing every day. I see His plan and how I fit into it, so I submit myself to Him in order to fulfill His plan for me. I am most happy and satisfied with my life when I'm doing what He is showing me to do. Only in that place do I find freedom. That is why I wholeheartedly stand with the God tree. He has proven Himself true in my life too many times for me to believe any other idea.
Friday, February 27, 2015
Deception and Ignorance
I have been re-reading The Chronicles of Narnia lately. I tend to do this every 2-3 years and every time it seems like I see something new. I've been thinking about the issue of false teachers as I read The Last Battle. I'd like to share some of my thoughts here.
A quick idea of how the story led me here,,. An evil ape finds a lion skin, so he puts it on his stupid donkey friend and pretends that he has Aslan (Jesus) in a shed and fools the Narnians. He begins giving orders that are very un-Aslan like. In this story it's been a long time since Aslan has been seen in Narnia, but the creatures all know the old stories of how he defeated the witch and all the wonderful things he did. The ape's version of Aslan is so different, but they still seem to believe the ape is telling the truth and Aslan is really selling them into slavery and the like.
I was struck by how this can be true in this reality as well. How many crazy cult leaders have risen up over the years and fooled so many? How many corruptions have there been within the church? Sometimes they seem so out there, we wonder how anyone is fooled.
I think it is easy to see what you're looking for. If you have it in your head that God is a big evil tyrant in the sky, it will be easier for you to believe someone that is spewing fear and wrath "from God." If God is distant and un-knowable, you might be drawn to someone who claims to have a direct connection. If you believe God is in a good mood and He loves you, you will dismiss the street corner preacher's warnings of doom and gloom. So how do we know what we should believe?
The importance of the Bible seems to become more obvious here. The best description I've heard for the purpose of the Bible is that it is meant to lead us into a relationship with the Author. It's not a book of rules, it's not just a storybook, it's not a documentary of Jewish history .... it's a love letter. It is imperative that we learn to read it with the intent to know our Heavenly Father. To read each story and ask, what character qualities is God showing me here? Where is His love, His grace, His mercy? Who is God? What is He teaching me in this passage?
When we don't know who God is, the fear slingers can much more easily manipulate us. I think back to the time before Martin Luther when the Catholic church was so corrupt. Why? Only the leaders had access to the Bible. The general public was illiterate, or at least couldn't read the language the scriptures were written in, so all they could do was trust their leaders. This was a pretty sickening time in church history where the religious leaders were selling salvation, amassing wealth at the expense of the ignorant people. Martin Luther was a man brave enough to change the balance of power by translating the Bible into the common language. When more people had access to the knowledge of who God is, the times were a changing. ;)
I won't claim to know much about cults, but I've seen a few of my cop shows that deal with them, and in most cases, the cult leader is some guy who "hears from God" and passes along orders to the people. He usually works with scare tactics, threatening loss of salvation or something like that. I think it's pretty clear that when only one man can hear from God, we have a problem. Jesus came that ALL of us could have direct access, so none of us should ever be in a position to listen to one single individual to know what God is saying. We are all capable of hearing, so we are all responsible for the choices we make. Never allow another person to take the place of your own personal relationship to God. The people in our inner circle definitely can have input, but ultimately we need to hear from God for ourselves.
Another one, yes, mostly from Hollywood is the serial killers that are "doing God's work" as they run around killing people. This one goes back to the issue of knowing God's character. It's pretty simple to see that "thou shalt not murder" probably didn't come from the same guy telling you to murder people. Also, the Westborough Baptist "church" that runs around flinging hatred and lies in the name of God, they are sickening! They are the opposite of what Jesus taught, but they seem to believe they're doing His work. Seems to me they're doing a pretty good job of turning people away from Christ if they believe what they're saying. Jesus is perfect theology, and He never murdered any sinners, nor did He wave nasty picket signs. He showed them grace and mercy and offered forgiveness and love. If you knew that, you would be able to identify that voice in your head as "not God." It's pretty simple, but so many are deceived.
[ I use Hollywood examples, knowing they aren't necessarily true, or even accurate because people watch these shows and movies, and on some level, believe them. I have a passion to expose misinformation about God, so if there's any chance that people believe that God could be speaking to or through these people who do horrible things, I want to share my thoughts on the subject. I would hate for anyone to dismiss God because of a belief system shaped by Hollywood. Sounds silly, but I have run into people who seem to have done just that.]
Take the red pill. There is an enemy out there and he hates you and he wants to keep you captive. He wants to destroy you and keep you from the Love of the Father and he is an expert deceiver. I don't believe in "scaring people into Heaven. I don't think that works. But the devil will convince you there isn't a Heaven if you let him. You owe it to yourself to seek out truth, to know that what you believe is true. There is so much bad information out there, it is up to each of us to be diligent in finding truth. If God is real, and in my experience He is very real, do you really want to put it off until it's too late? It's not about fear, it's about the ultimate love. Do you have any idea what you're missing out on? The devil and his minions will do all they can to keep you from truth. He's a whiny baby who knows he's lost, and just wants to hurt God by stealing away His children. Lies are the only power he has. That's why the Bible tells us that the truth will set us free. It's simple. There is a promise that if you seek it, you will find it. It's so worth it. God isn't about rules, He's about freedom!
My encouragement with this one is to make sure you are investing time in getting to know God so that the chances of your being one of the deceived will be minimized. God is right there waiting for you to talk to and hear from. He wants relationship with you. Take advantage of this incredible opportunity. We live in a free country where we are able to read in the open and practice our faith. Others don't have the same freedom, so don't waste yours.
A quick idea of how the story led me here,,. An evil ape finds a lion skin, so he puts it on his stupid donkey friend and pretends that he has Aslan (Jesus) in a shed and fools the Narnians. He begins giving orders that are very un-Aslan like. In this story it's been a long time since Aslan has been seen in Narnia, but the creatures all know the old stories of how he defeated the witch and all the wonderful things he did. The ape's version of Aslan is so different, but they still seem to believe the ape is telling the truth and Aslan is really selling them into slavery and the like.
I was struck by how this can be true in this reality as well. How many crazy cult leaders have risen up over the years and fooled so many? How many corruptions have there been within the church? Sometimes they seem so out there, we wonder how anyone is fooled.
I think it is easy to see what you're looking for. If you have it in your head that God is a big evil tyrant in the sky, it will be easier for you to believe someone that is spewing fear and wrath "from God." If God is distant and un-knowable, you might be drawn to someone who claims to have a direct connection. If you believe God is in a good mood and He loves you, you will dismiss the street corner preacher's warnings of doom and gloom. So how do we know what we should believe?
The importance of the Bible seems to become more obvious here. The best description I've heard for the purpose of the Bible is that it is meant to lead us into a relationship with the Author. It's not a book of rules, it's not just a storybook, it's not a documentary of Jewish history .... it's a love letter. It is imperative that we learn to read it with the intent to know our Heavenly Father. To read each story and ask, what character qualities is God showing me here? Where is His love, His grace, His mercy? Who is God? What is He teaching me in this passage?
When we don't know who God is, the fear slingers can much more easily manipulate us. I think back to the time before Martin Luther when the Catholic church was so corrupt. Why? Only the leaders had access to the Bible. The general public was illiterate, or at least couldn't read the language the scriptures were written in, so all they could do was trust their leaders. This was a pretty sickening time in church history where the religious leaders were selling salvation, amassing wealth at the expense of the ignorant people. Martin Luther was a man brave enough to change the balance of power by translating the Bible into the common language. When more people had access to the knowledge of who God is, the times were a changing. ;)
I won't claim to know much about cults, but I've seen a few of my cop shows that deal with them, and in most cases, the cult leader is some guy who "hears from God" and passes along orders to the people. He usually works with scare tactics, threatening loss of salvation or something like that. I think it's pretty clear that when only one man can hear from God, we have a problem. Jesus came that ALL of us could have direct access, so none of us should ever be in a position to listen to one single individual to know what God is saying. We are all capable of hearing, so we are all responsible for the choices we make. Never allow another person to take the place of your own personal relationship to God. The people in our inner circle definitely can have input, but ultimately we need to hear from God for ourselves.
Another one, yes, mostly from Hollywood is the serial killers that are "doing God's work" as they run around killing people. This one goes back to the issue of knowing God's character. It's pretty simple to see that "thou shalt not murder" probably didn't come from the same guy telling you to murder people. Also, the Westborough Baptist "church" that runs around flinging hatred and lies in the name of God, they are sickening! They are the opposite of what Jesus taught, but they seem to believe they're doing His work. Seems to me they're doing a pretty good job of turning people away from Christ if they believe what they're saying. Jesus is perfect theology, and He never murdered any sinners, nor did He wave nasty picket signs. He showed them grace and mercy and offered forgiveness and love. If you knew that, you would be able to identify that voice in your head as "not God." It's pretty simple, but so many are deceived.
[ I use Hollywood examples, knowing they aren't necessarily true, or even accurate because people watch these shows and movies, and on some level, believe them. I have a passion to expose misinformation about God, so if there's any chance that people believe that God could be speaking to or through these people who do horrible things, I want to share my thoughts on the subject. I would hate for anyone to dismiss God because of a belief system shaped by Hollywood. Sounds silly, but I have run into people who seem to have done just that.]
Take the red pill. There is an enemy out there and he hates you and he wants to keep you captive. He wants to destroy you and keep you from the Love of the Father and he is an expert deceiver. I don't believe in "scaring people into Heaven. I don't think that works. But the devil will convince you there isn't a Heaven if you let him. You owe it to yourself to seek out truth, to know that what you believe is true. There is so much bad information out there, it is up to each of us to be diligent in finding truth. If God is real, and in my experience He is very real, do you really want to put it off until it's too late? It's not about fear, it's about the ultimate love. Do you have any idea what you're missing out on? The devil and his minions will do all they can to keep you from truth. He's a whiny baby who knows he's lost, and just wants to hurt God by stealing away His children. Lies are the only power he has. That's why the Bible tells us that the truth will set us free. It's simple. There is a promise that if you seek it, you will find it. It's so worth it. God isn't about rules, He's about freedom!
My encouragement with this one is to make sure you are investing time in getting to know God so that the chances of your being one of the deceived will be minimized. God is right there waiting for you to talk to and hear from. He wants relationship with you. Take advantage of this incredible opportunity. We live in a free country where we are able to read in the open and practice our faith. Others don't have the same freedom, so don't waste yours.
Friday, February 6, 2015
What is the real issue with gender?
I read an article today that was about the issue of "transgender." There is a cry for help from a group of people that needs to be addressed. There is a lot of pain associated with this whole gender identity issue. The article spurred me to write out my thoughts.
The topics related to sex / gender have fascinated me for some time now. Why? Because I am someone who doesn't fit "the norm." I will say that I agree with this article. This gender identity issue is a mental one that should be addressed, but I want to offer up another answer to the issue. One that is near to my heart.
Gender is cultural. What it means to be a woman in the US is different than a woman in a remote African village. But beyond that, we are ALL different. I like to think of these things as a spectrum. Both sexes have testosterone and estrogen right? They're not doled out in equal parts to all of us, we all land somewhere on the spectrum. We are mostly all born clearly one sex or the other, (there are a few born with both parts) but how our life develops is up for grabs. I think environment definitely plays a part in determining our preferences, but I'm sure our biology does as well. (no, I have no formal education on this topic, just thinking with my brain and reading random articles over the years) A girl who has more testosterone will likely be better at sports and therefore pursue it more than a girl who does not. Just a generalization, but you get where I'm going.
Let me tell you a little about me that shapes how I view this issue. All who know me will tell you that I'm a tomboy, that I hate girly stuff, I hate pink, I hate flowers, but I love sports, baseball caps, and eating burgers instead of salads. Does that mean I identify as a boy? No!
Why am I this way? I would guess in part because I grew up in a neighborhood full of boys. When I went out to play with the neighbor kids, it was all baseball, football, Star Wars... We watched action movies and played ball. I had an older sister, but she married and moved out when I was 8, so before I hit the age of really starting to develop who I was. Maybe if we'd been closer in age I would've been different. Who knows? I know a lot of kids look up to and emulate their older siblings. But as it is, I have always much preferred "boy activities" to "girl activities." This of course caused me to be picked on in school and I never quite fit in with the boys or the girls. Even into adulthood, there were women's meetings at church and I never wanted to go to them because they were all tea parties, fashion shows, and girl food that I wouldn't eat. I have finally come to terms with my identity, I am secure in who I am, but it has not come without a lot of heartache. I would think that I can relate to these youth that call themselves transgender on some level. I don't fit in. I am not what people have told me I should be.
How do I identify myself today at 37? Honestly, to tell you the truth, neither. And I think that is how it should be. (I'm sure some would disagree with me on that, but it's my opinion) I think the entire problem is that people really like to put things in boxes, to create labels to attach to everyone. We so badly want control in our world, we subconsciously insist that everyone fit perfectly into all sorts of little categories. This is what I believe needs to change. There is a loud cry for freedom that is running into brick walls everywhere it turns! Growing up and discovering who you are is hard enough without all the outside pressure to conform conform conform!! We are destroying the uniqueness in people by forcing everyone to be exactly the same or get tormented by their peers. We claim to be a tolerant society, but we are so far from it. Ask any junior high kid. Any little thing that is different about you brings the torment of the other students. We have all been there, we've all felt outcast at some point. Just because we're different.
We all know the boy that likes fashion and art and dancing and is immediately labeled "gay." We all know the girl who dresses for comfort, loves sports, and can fix a car so she is labeled "lesbian." It's sick and wrong!! It is ludicrous to think that a person's likes or dislikes have anything to do with sexual desires. But that is how we label, and that is a big part of messing up the minds of kids who are trying to figure out who they are. We're telling them that "because you like this, you must be this." Why can't a boy like fashion and still like girls? Why can't a girl be good at sports and still like boys? Why are these people the targets of bullying? Why can't we just let people be who they are? If we're all the same, life is boring and a lot of stuff wouldn't get done. We need everyone to be who they were created to be. What would the world look like if everyone could be free to be? I think it would be a much happier place.
I don't know how to end this. It's human nature to categorize things. All I can hope for is that I can write something that makes one person think, and that person shares it with another and it spreads, changing attitudes and perceptions. We desperately need true tolerance and acceptance of the unique nature of every single human being. Stop labeling people on first impressions. Stop insisting that everyone be the same. Stop telling little boys to not play with dolls. Stop forcing little girls to wear pink every day. We all have a sex, male or female, that is not up for debate. It tells us what our role in reproduction is, that's about it. Beyond that is a huge spectrum of possibility.
The rest of our identity is a mystery to be sought out and discovered with great joy! I wasted so many years listening to others tell me that who I was was wrong and I needed to change it. I had a culturally based gender identity forced on me and I didn't have the courage to fight it yet. I know that eventually my journey brought be to a discovery of my destiny to live and serve in Uganda. Once I found that piece, all the other quirks and oddities suddenly made complete sense! I was created for this! This is who I am and where I find my joy. I only hope that everyone else is given the same freedom to find who they are and rejoice in it.
I am Superman. Deal with it. :)
P.S. -- Since this whole Bruce Jenner story has blown up, I'm revisiting this post. I don't know his story. I don't know why he thinks he should be a woman. My heart breaks for him that he sees his only option is to mutilate his body and artificially medicate himself for the rest of his life so that he can appear as a woman. I wonder if the things I've said here could've helped him see another option if he had encountered these ideas. I wonder what made him believe he couldn't be himself without changing his appearance. It's so sad, and even sadder that our media is hailing him as a great courageous hero for what he's doing. I think he is a very hurt and confused man and I hope he finds the help he needs so he can be at peace with the man he was created to be.
The topics related to sex / gender have fascinated me for some time now. Why? Because I am someone who doesn't fit "the norm." I will say that I agree with this article. This gender identity issue is a mental one that should be addressed, but I want to offer up another answer to the issue. One that is near to my heart.
Gender is cultural. What it means to be a woman in the US is different than a woman in a remote African village. But beyond that, we are ALL different. I like to think of these things as a spectrum. Both sexes have testosterone and estrogen right? They're not doled out in equal parts to all of us, we all land somewhere on the spectrum. We are mostly all born clearly one sex or the other, (there are a few born with both parts) but how our life develops is up for grabs. I think environment definitely plays a part in determining our preferences, but I'm sure our biology does as well. (no, I have no formal education on this topic, just thinking with my brain and reading random articles over the years) A girl who has more testosterone will likely be better at sports and therefore pursue it more than a girl who does not. Just a generalization, but you get where I'm going.
Let me tell you a little about me that shapes how I view this issue. All who know me will tell you that I'm a tomboy, that I hate girly stuff, I hate pink, I hate flowers, but I love sports, baseball caps, and eating burgers instead of salads. Does that mean I identify as a boy? No!
Why am I this way? I would guess in part because I grew up in a neighborhood full of boys. When I went out to play with the neighbor kids, it was all baseball, football, Star Wars... We watched action movies and played ball. I had an older sister, but she married and moved out when I was 8, so before I hit the age of really starting to develop who I was. Maybe if we'd been closer in age I would've been different. Who knows? I know a lot of kids look up to and emulate their older siblings. But as it is, I have always much preferred "boy activities" to "girl activities." This of course caused me to be picked on in school and I never quite fit in with the boys or the girls. Even into adulthood, there were women's meetings at church and I never wanted to go to them because they were all tea parties, fashion shows, and girl food that I wouldn't eat. I have finally come to terms with my identity, I am secure in who I am, but it has not come without a lot of heartache. I would think that I can relate to these youth that call themselves transgender on some level. I don't fit in. I am not what people have told me I should be.
How do I identify myself today at 37? Honestly, to tell you the truth, neither. And I think that is how it should be. (I'm sure some would disagree with me on that, but it's my opinion) I think the entire problem is that people really like to put things in boxes, to create labels to attach to everyone. We so badly want control in our world, we subconsciously insist that everyone fit perfectly into all sorts of little categories. This is what I believe needs to change. There is a loud cry for freedom that is running into brick walls everywhere it turns! Growing up and discovering who you are is hard enough without all the outside pressure to conform conform conform!! We are destroying the uniqueness in people by forcing everyone to be exactly the same or get tormented by their peers. We claim to be a tolerant society, but we are so far from it. Ask any junior high kid. Any little thing that is different about you brings the torment of the other students. We have all been there, we've all felt outcast at some point. Just because we're different.
We all know the boy that likes fashion and art and dancing and is immediately labeled "gay." We all know the girl who dresses for comfort, loves sports, and can fix a car so she is labeled "lesbian." It's sick and wrong!! It is ludicrous to think that a person's likes or dislikes have anything to do with sexual desires. But that is how we label, and that is a big part of messing up the minds of kids who are trying to figure out who they are. We're telling them that "because you like this, you must be this." Why can't a boy like fashion and still like girls? Why can't a girl be good at sports and still like boys? Why are these people the targets of bullying? Why can't we just let people be who they are? If we're all the same, life is boring and a lot of stuff wouldn't get done. We need everyone to be who they were created to be. What would the world look like if everyone could be free to be? I think it would be a much happier place.
I don't know how to end this. It's human nature to categorize things. All I can hope for is that I can write something that makes one person think, and that person shares it with another and it spreads, changing attitudes and perceptions. We desperately need true tolerance and acceptance of the unique nature of every single human being. Stop labeling people on first impressions. Stop insisting that everyone be the same. Stop telling little boys to not play with dolls. Stop forcing little girls to wear pink every day. We all have a sex, male or female, that is not up for debate. It tells us what our role in reproduction is, that's about it. Beyond that is a huge spectrum of possibility.
The rest of our identity is a mystery to be sought out and discovered with great joy! I wasted so many years listening to others tell me that who I was was wrong and I needed to change it. I had a culturally based gender identity forced on me and I didn't have the courage to fight it yet. I know that eventually my journey brought be to a discovery of my destiny to live and serve in Uganda. Once I found that piece, all the other quirks and oddities suddenly made complete sense! I was created for this! This is who I am and where I find my joy. I only hope that everyone else is given the same freedom to find who they are and rejoice in it.
I am Superman. Deal with it. :)
P.S. -- Since this whole Bruce Jenner story has blown up, I'm revisiting this post. I don't know his story. I don't know why he thinks he should be a woman. My heart breaks for him that he sees his only option is to mutilate his body and artificially medicate himself for the rest of his life so that he can appear as a woman. I wonder if the things I've said here could've helped him see another option if he had encountered these ideas. I wonder what made him believe he couldn't be himself without changing his appearance. It's so sad, and even sadder that our media is hailing him as a great courageous hero for what he's doing. I think he is a very hurt and confused man and I hope he finds the help he needs so he can be at peace with the man he was created to be.
Monday, February 2, 2015
Destiny
What am I supposed to be doing with my life? Some would tell you that every answer you need in life is in the Bible, but I would like to propose that isn't exactly true. Yeah, I said it. There are tons of good teachings in there, but they are broad and generic so to speak. But what about my life? There's no way the Bible is going to tell me to move to Uganda, because Uganda didn't exist when it was written. It's not going to tell you to go to college for a computer programming degree. The Bible gives us principles and guidelines, but there has to be another way to get specific instructions for our own lives.
The purpose of the Bible, I've heard it said, is to introduce you to the author. As we get to know Him, He shows us who He created us to be. When you know who you are, and what your passions are, it becomes much easier to choose your path. He created us all for something specific, and it isn't all 'super spiritual' looking. Some are called to be pastors and missionaries, sure, but some are called to be postmen or football players. There's plenty of possibilities, and as we discover our unique identity, gift mix, and passions, our destiny becomes clear.
The Bible contains principles by which we can make decisions which is great. It also contains stories of people who messed up and people who got to see God's miracles, many times they were one in the same. The Bible is about redemption. God used the worst of people to accomplish His works on the Earth. I just heard a preacher say something like 19 books of the Bible were written by murderers. Ever looked at Jesus' family tree? Prostitutes, murderers, adulterers, liars.... Not the prettiest heritage. But God. I think the Bible is a story of hope. All these people messed up big time, yet God still loved them and still used them for great purposes.
So what can I learn? I learned that why these people overcame their sin was their relationship with God. David was called a man after God's heart. He killed tons of people and he lusted after a married woman and slept with her and then had her husband killed to cover up his sin. Not the best resume, but he lived a life of repentance and God blessed him over and over. This in no way tells us it's ok to sin, but if and when we do mess up, it's not too late. I am encouraged in that. My sin is not bigger than God's plan for my life.
Sometimes it's easy to start thinking it's too late for me. I've messed up too much, I didn't do enough, I didn't work hard enough... I'm 37 years old, it's too late to discover my purpose and get on it. I think the Bible is full of stories of people who didn't start their journey at age 20. People who took a lot of detours before they finally clicked into their destiny. It's not too late for me. Tomorrow is a new day, full of hope and new opportunities. I will choose to partner with Jesus and discover what He has for me this day.
Right now I'm in a season of waiting. God is working quietly in my heart, healing deep wounds and working bad habits out of me. No one really sees what is happening under the surface, but I know what's happening. Yes, He has called me to Uganda and given me a great vision for what He wants to do there through me and I can't wait to get started! But first, He has work to do inside me. People ask me all the time when I'm going, and I don't feel like giving the full answer. Some things are just between me and God right now. He has showed me some things that need to fall into place before I'll be ready to take on my mission, but I am not going to share the details with everyone. He just keeps telling me to "wait and trust." So that is what I'm doing. I have been building a relationship with the author and perfecter of my faith, and I'm choosing to trust in His timing. Without a solid relationship with Him, I will fail in Uganda, I'm sure of it. I might still do some good, but there is no way I'll have the same kind of impact that I'll have with Him.
The purpose of the Bible, I've heard it said, is to introduce you to the author. As we get to know Him, He shows us who He created us to be. When you know who you are, and what your passions are, it becomes much easier to choose your path. He created us all for something specific, and it isn't all 'super spiritual' looking. Some are called to be pastors and missionaries, sure, but some are called to be postmen or football players. There's plenty of possibilities, and as we discover our unique identity, gift mix, and passions, our destiny becomes clear.
The Bible contains principles by which we can make decisions which is great. It also contains stories of people who messed up and people who got to see God's miracles, many times they were one in the same. The Bible is about redemption. God used the worst of people to accomplish His works on the Earth. I just heard a preacher say something like 19 books of the Bible were written by murderers. Ever looked at Jesus' family tree? Prostitutes, murderers, adulterers, liars.... Not the prettiest heritage. But God. I think the Bible is a story of hope. All these people messed up big time, yet God still loved them and still used them for great purposes.
So what can I learn? I learned that why these people overcame their sin was their relationship with God. David was called a man after God's heart. He killed tons of people and he lusted after a married woman and slept with her and then had her husband killed to cover up his sin. Not the best resume, but he lived a life of repentance and God blessed him over and over. This in no way tells us it's ok to sin, but if and when we do mess up, it's not too late. I am encouraged in that. My sin is not bigger than God's plan for my life.
Sometimes it's easy to start thinking it's too late for me. I've messed up too much, I didn't do enough, I didn't work hard enough... I'm 37 years old, it's too late to discover my purpose and get on it. I think the Bible is full of stories of people who didn't start their journey at age 20. People who took a lot of detours before they finally clicked into their destiny. It's not too late for me. Tomorrow is a new day, full of hope and new opportunities. I will choose to partner with Jesus and discover what He has for me this day.
Right now I'm in a season of waiting. God is working quietly in my heart, healing deep wounds and working bad habits out of me. No one really sees what is happening under the surface, but I know what's happening. Yes, He has called me to Uganda and given me a great vision for what He wants to do there through me and I can't wait to get started! But first, He has work to do inside me. People ask me all the time when I'm going, and I don't feel like giving the full answer. Some things are just between me and God right now. He has showed me some things that need to fall into place before I'll be ready to take on my mission, but I am not going to share the details with everyone. He just keeps telling me to "wait and trust." So that is what I'm doing. I have been building a relationship with the author and perfecter of my faith, and I'm choosing to trust in His timing. Without a solid relationship with Him, I will fail in Uganda, I'm sure of it. I might still do some good, but there is no way I'll have the same kind of impact that I'll have with Him.
Friday, January 2, 2015
God doesn't hate 'fags'
Today I want to post something a little odd. One of my biggest pet peeves is people who misrepresent God in very public ways. It breaks my heart that so many people are getting a very wrong idea about who God is and because of that they're missing out on the greatest relationship they could ever have. One of the biggest offenders in this area is those who picket with "God hates fags" signs. This makes me so angry! I know it isn't true, but I decided to do a search of the words "God hates" and see what I could find in the Bible. Just for kicks.
I did find a few things. I'll just lump them all together. This is everything that came up in a computer search on biblegateway.com...
God hates: sacrificing children in the fire, setting up altars to false gods, people who love violence, Haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, new moon festivals, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that run rapidly to evil, A false witness who utters lies, one who spreads strife among brothers, divorce, and Esau. (if you want all the references, just ask, I don't feel like typing all that out at the moment - they're all OT except the Esau one)
I did find a few things. I'll just lump them all together. This is everything that came up in a computer search on biblegateway.com...
God hates: sacrificing children in the fire, setting up altars to false gods, people who love violence, Haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, new moon festivals, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that run rapidly to evil, A false witness who utters lies, one who spreads strife among brothers, divorce, and Esau. (if you want all the references, just ask, I don't feel like typing all that out at the moment - they're all OT except the Esau one)
Anyone see homosexuals in that list? I don't. I see a list of things that if we're honest with ourselves, we've all done at least a couple of. I can pretty much guarantee that EVERYONE has lied at some point. The thing is, with the exception of Esau, (and I don't claim to understand why he's named on this list) these things God hates are all actions that cause harm. Really, that is what sin is. God didn't set up a list of stupid meaningless rules to keep us down, He gave us guardrails to keep us from getting hurt. He loves His children, every last one of us. How many of you parents like seeing your kids get hurt? I hope that no one does. God hates things that hurt His kids. He's a good Papa and He loves us all very much.
As I've written about before, I think that people only sin because they are either wounded or believing a lie. I believe sin is a deceitful thing that is attacking us. That is the bottom line of what God hates. He hates this thing that is out to destroy His kids. If you've done things on this list, it does NOT mean God hates you. I don't want anyone reading this to take up shame, that is not the response I'm looking for. I do think we should all be mindful of the things God warns us about. I personally do not enjoy pain, so I will listen to His guidance. I'm not perfect, I still fall into the trap, but I strive to do better and better as the years go by. That's all we can do, and only with Jesus' help.
I would add that I bet God also hates the harm caused by these people and their picket signs. I apologize to anyone who has been hurt by seeing these signs. These people are misled and NOT displaying the heart of the Jesus I know. He really is good and He loves you very much.
Sunday, December 7, 2014
Stereotypes - Cops and Thugs
Stereotype: a simplified and standardized conception or image invested with special meaning and held in common by members of a group:
Profiling: the use of personal characteristics or behavior patterns to make generalizations about a person
These terms are pretty much always used in a negative context as if they are wrong, but if we're honest, we all do it. It's how we process our world. We make an instant judgement about a person on sight. We then can choose what we do with it, but there is a first impression that we all have based on similar situations we've encountered previously. If guys in cowboy hats have always called you ma'am or sir, the next cowboy hat you see, you will probably expect the same. We recognize patterns and create expectations based on those patterns.
I believe this is an important issue to be aware of when we consider how we present ourselves to the world around us. Let us look at the hip hop/rap culture. These boys that dress like gangsters/ thugs give off a certain expectation about their character. When one chooses to align with a music scene that promotes violence, drugs, crime, sexual violence, promiscuity, lack of respect for authority and who knows what else.... I personally am going to be much more inclined to not trust them. I don't know why anyone would like listening to all that if they didn't aspire to that lifestyle. That is just my opinion, but isn't that what we're talking about here? It is my opinion that one will primarily choose to fill their eyes and ears with things that align with their moral standards.
This has been on my mind with the current news line. I have not intentionally looked at anything related to the Ferguson case, just heard the bare bones basic idea, so I won't pretend to know anything about it. (as if watching the news really tells us anything about anything) I'm just thinking that this isn't new. We hear stories often about authority figures abusing people, be it cops or teachers, and the news creates this huge hoopla about it and incites the people to riot. It is something that I am trying to be understanding about. I am not saying it is right, but I feel like I understand how it happens and that the authority figures aren't really the problem.
I remember an incident back in middle school where a teacher grabbed a student by the throat and pushed him out in the hallway and up against the wall in anger. I realize now that wasn't ok, but at the time, I think we all thought the kid deserved it. He was always acting up and being a turd. No one liked him. He pushed the teacher to the breaking point. Years later I heard another teacher that I really liked had been suspended and accused of slapping a student. I'd been in his class for 3 years, he was a great guy, so my thought again was, what that kid must've done to push the teacher to that point. My point is that cops and teachers deal with troublesome individuals on a daily basis. The growing number of punks that just smart off and fight back is something I would never be able to deal with. I would totally want to slap them around. Think about it. How much disrespect could you take? I'm surprised more of them don't snap.
So back to my original word, the cops have for sure got a certain idea in their head about how these punks will behave, and that includes pulling a gun. If I'm an officer facing off with someone that looks like every other punk I've dealt with, the threat of a weapon coming out is running on red alert. Have you ever had a gun pulled on you? These cops have I'm sure. A few months ago I just happened to drive right past a situation where a cop shootout was happening and I know what happened inside of me. My racing heart, shaking hands, two hours trying to calm down, not thinking straight .... How much time do you have to make a decision in that situation? I would never want to be in their shoes.
I hope we as a nation can learn to have some compassion. Yes, bad things happen, mistakes are made, but we all make them. Can we choose to not vilify cops when one of them makes a mistake (or alleged mistake)? Can we try to understand their circumstances? Can we forgive? If you can't forgive others their mistakes, how can you ever expect yours to be forgiven? Can we address the real problem? Can we seek to provide resources for the cops to turn to when the stress builds up so they don't snap? Can we acknowledge how much crap they deal with on a daily basis and give them our respect for doing it?
And secondly, how are you presenting yourself to the world? I would venture a guess that not all black people are automatically suspected of being criminals, but only those who dress and act in a way that lumps them in with the sector that is. If you associate yourself with criminals, don't whine when you are assumed to be one at first glance. Realize that stereotypes exist and you will be treated as such on first impression, just as you do it to others.
And lastly, let us do our best to get to know people beyond first impressions. They might surprise you. I'm challenging myself on this one, I'm not very good at this myself. :)
Profiling: the use of personal characteristics or behavior patterns to make generalizations about a person
These terms are pretty much always used in a negative context as if they are wrong, but if we're honest, we all do it. It's how we process our world. We make an instant judgement about a person on sight. We then can choose what we do with it, but there is a first impression that we all have based on similar situations we've encountered previously. If guys in cowboy hats have always called you ma'am or sir, the next cowboy hat you see, you will probably expect the same. We recognize patterns and create expectations based on those patterns.
I believe this is an important issue to be aware of when we consider how we present ourselves to the world around us. Let us look at the hip hop/rap culture. These boys that dress like gangsters/ thugs give off a certain expectation about their character. When one chooses to align with a music scene that promotes violence, drugs, crime, sexual violence, promiscuity, lack of respect for authority and who knows what else.... I personally am going to be much more inclined to not trust them. I don't know why anyone would like listening to all that if they didn't aspire to that lifestyle. That is just my opinion, but isn't that what we're talking about here? It is my opinion that one will primarily choose to fill their eyes and ears with things that align with their moral standards.
This has been on my mind with the current news line. I have not intentionally looked at anything related to the Ferguson case, just heard the bare bones basic idea, so I won't pretend to know anything about it. (as if watching the news really tells us anything about anything) I'm just thinking that this isn't new. We hear stories often about authority figures abusing people, be it cops or teachers, and the news creates this huge hoopla about it and incites the people to riot. It is something that I am trying to be understanding about. I am not saying it is right, but I feel like I understand how it happens and that the authority figures aren't really the problem.
I remember an incident back in middle school where a teacher grabbed a student by the throat and pushed him out in the hallway and up against the wall in anger. I realize now that wasn't ok, but at the time, I think we all thought the kid deserved it. He was always acting up and being a turd. No one liked him. He pushed the teacher to the breaking point. Years later I heard another teacher that I really liked had been suspended and accused of slapping a student. I'd been in his class for 3 years, he was a great guy, so my thought again was, what that kid must've done to push the teacher to that point. My point is that cops and teachers deal with troublesome individuals on a daily basis. The growing number of punks that just smart off and fight back is something I would never be able to deal with. I would totally want to slap them around. Think about it. How much disrespect could you take? I'm surprised more of them don't snap.
So back to my original word, the cops have for sure got a certain idea in their head about how these punks will behave, and that includes pulling a gun. If I'm an officer facing off with someone that looks like every other punk I've dealt with, the threat of a weapon coming out is running on red alert. Have you ever had a gun pulled on you? These cops have I'm sure. A few months ago I just happened to drive right past a situation where a cop shootout was happening and I know what happened inside of me. My racing heart, shaking hands, two hours trying to calm down, not thinking straight .... How much time do you have to make a decision in that situation? I would never want to be in their shoes.
I hope we as a nation can learn to have some compassion. Yes, bad things happen, mistakes are made, but we all make them. Can we choose to not vilify cops when one of them makes a mistake (or alleged mistake)? Can we try to understand their circumstances? Can we forgive? If you can't forgive others their mistakes, how can you ever expect yours to be forgiven? Can we address the real problem? Can we seek to provide resources for the cops to turn to when the stress builds up so they don't snap? Can we acknowledge how much crap they deal with on a daily basis and give them our respect for doing it?
And secondly, how are you presenting yourself to the world? I would venture a guess that not all black people are automatically suspected of being criminals, but only those who dress and act in a way that lumps them in with the sector that is. If you associate yourself with criminals, don't whine when you are assumed to be one at first glance. Realize that stereotypes exist and you will be treated as such on first impression, just as you do it to others.
And lastly, let us do our best to get to know people beyond first impressions. They might surprise you. I'm challenging myself on this one, I'm not very good at this myself. :)
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