Truth > Feelings

In today's crazy world, it's becoming more and more obvious that people are being ruled by emotion.  Sadly, emotion is not a very good master.  Emotion is meant to be a tool.  Leaving it in charge just leads to heartache and misery.  But how do we stop the cycle and take control?

I'm sure I don't have to tell anyone that emotions are powerful.  We are all swayed by emotion all the time.  Sometimes that leads us into good situations, but all too often it leads us down roads full of pain and suffering.  My main point in writing is to lay out a case for taking control of emotions instead of justifying acting out on whatever we feel and calling it good.

Anger is a simple topic on this point.  I am sure we've all been overcome by anger at least once.  In that state, violence can rush to the surface and if we allow it to rule, we could lash out and hurt someone and potentially end up in jail over it.  The feeling is real, the power of it is strong.  Typically we have a personal standard of morality that tells us it's wrong to hurt another person, so hopefully we have learned how to reign in that rush of anger.  That's why they have anger management classes, to help people learn to control that impulse.  We seem to believe that anger can and should be controlled, kept within acceptable boundaries.

But then we move on to lust/attraction.  This topic has become quite muddled over the years.  As a society we've been losing a strong sense of right and wrong on this topic.  For the same reason as with anger, strong emotion, in this area we have justified it and tried to call it all acceptable.  It's already proving to be a slippery slope.  Where do we draw the line?  How do we decide what is right and what is wrong?  Why do we accept one kind of attraction and not another?

Managing one's feelings is important.  I think as a culture we still believe it's wrong to cheat on your significant other.  It still happens often, but I think we mostly disapprove of it.  Does being in a committed relationship mean attraction to others doesn't happen?  I've been told it still does.  According to some standards, if you feel like it, go for it.  No, we expect our partner to show self control and manage those attractions.  Love means choosing the one when there are other options according to Kris Vallotton.

What about a single girl being attracted to a married man?  She has strong emotions, so is it ok for her to flirt with him and try to get him to cheat on his wife?  What about same sex attraction?  Now it gets more muddled.  This has the potential to be consensual, so is it ok?  What about pedophilia?  It's an attraction, so can it be followed?  They can't help it...… can they?  It seems like we've begun to believe that if you feel something, it's real and you should go with it.  But where is that leading us?

The only answer I have is found in Jesus, the One they call Truth.  He gave us His Word that lays out acceptable behavior and tells us what will hurt us.  Then, as a good Father, He gives us tools to choose the right path.  I finally learned how to use those tools over the last few years.  I wish I'd learned them much earlier, it would have saved me so much misery.

I'm not going to go into what the Bible teaches about all these issues, I think that is pretty much common knowledge at this point.  You can look it up for yourself if you really want to know.  I mention it because that is where I get my truth.  That is the standard to which I want to conform my life.  As a kid I watched the people around me and saw that in the places they were in pain, it was usually linked to breaking one of God's rules.  I saw it so often that I concluded that God gave us rules so we wouldn't hurt ourselves or others.  I didn't see every single rule broken, but I saw enough to extrapolate that truth onto the other laws I hadn't encountered yet. I saw the value and the safety of the boundaries God set for His kids.

2 Corinthians 10:5 tells us we can "take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ."  I spent too many years not understanding how to do that. In my late teens I suddenly developed some crazy powerful feelings that I knew were wrong to follow, but I didn't know how to deal with them.  I was miserable, spending all my time focusing on the bad feelings, wanting to get rid of them, only seeing them grow and become all consuming, ruining my life.  Over 15 years I struggled with wanting to do the right thing by God, but instead remaining a slave to my feelings. I never acted out on these feelings, thank God, but they consumed me inside and caused me so much pain and suffering.

Eventually I met someone who was able to teach me what I needed to know.  I learned that the devil is a liar and seeks to destroy as many of God's kids as he can.  He whispers in our ears day in and day out.  We can easily think that those whispers are our own thoughts.  But the devil is a liar.  He's been doing this for a very long time and he's pretty good at it.  Twisting truth and provoking emotions.  I learned that the overwhelming emotions I'd been fighting were there because I'd believed his lies.  He had taken advantage of the wounds I'd received in life and he pushed me down roads I didn't want to be on.  If only I'd known.

It's easier to use another situation to explain the process of taking thoughts captive because the process was shorter and more clear.  I once found myself drawn to a married man.  Nothing extreme, just the giddy type of crush that a young girl might have on her basketball coach or something like that. My moral compass told me that wasn't ok, and I knew I had to go talk to my mentor friend who happened to be his wife.  Scary! (I learned early on that hiding sinful thoughts is a great way to get them to blow up and get out of control.  The light is always a good thing.)  The day before that talk, it finally occurred to me to ask God about what was going on.  He answered me more clearly than ever before!  It was deep!  He told me how He had put this man in my life to show me the pure love of a father, a brother, and a friend.  I hadn't had very good relationships in those areas so I was very untrusting of men. My dad abandoned the family to run off with the neighbor lady, my brother was great, but so much older, he moved out by the time I was 8, so our relationship wasn't all that close.  Boys at school were not nice to me....  I basically hated men.  God was drawing my attention to a good man so He could heal my heart.  That was a relief!  So over the next couple weeks, any time the "crush" type thoughts came up, I stopped them, took them captive, and then reminded myself what God had told me about this relationship.  After those 2 weeks, it was over.  I captured the lies and turned my eyes to obedience to Truth.

“but you see, just because we've been...dealt a certain hand...it doesn't mean we can't choose to rise above- to conquer the boundaries of a destiny that none of us wanted. to try to retain whatever essential humanity we can.” - Edward Cullen ― Stephenie Meyer, Twilight

I love this quote.  Yes, I know, it's Twilight...  But it is powerful.  I think it makes my point.  Morality and truth are constant.  We need something solid to stand on or it's too easy to let emotion and desire take us down destructive pathways.  If you're not familiar with Twilight, Edward is a vampire, part of a family of vampires.  They need blood to survive.  It's a base instinct to kill people.  But this family has taken a moral stand against that and has chosen to only survive on the blood of animals. Yes, their desire for blood is strong and real.  Yes, they could probably justify murder to fulfill their craving. But morality is a choice.  They have trained themselves to resist the deep desire for human blood by focusing on a higher truth that murder is wrong.

I like this quote because it's easy to transfer it to sexual desire. People think that is a deep pressing need that must be satisfied.  They seem to think they can't live without it.  But what about morality?  Where do we draw the line?  The Bible draws a number of clear lines on the subject. In crossing that line we risk going to far and ending up somewhere we never wanted to be.  Do you think first time drug users plan on ending up as the tweaker on the corner yelling at cars?  Sin only leads to destruction.  At what point in ignoring the law do you slip over that cliff and out of control?

So what if we have desires and attractions that if followed would be breaking God's law or maybe even civil law?  As I shared above, take those desires and talk to Jesus about them. Listen.  Let Him show you what His purpose is.  Maybe He'll show you heart wounds from your past and offer to heal them.  Maybe He'll point out lies you've been believing so you can renounce them and replace them with truth.  It's not always a quick and easy process, but I am proof it works.  My sinful desires disappeared as I went thought this process with Jesus.  I began to take control over my emotions and learn to live within God's boundaries for my life.  Boundaries are not slavery.  Boundaries are freedom! God is a good father and only wants what is best for His kids.  He has the best plan for our lives. Freedom and satisfaction are only found within the boundaries God has set out for us.

Guns & Violence & Jesus

I'm going to start off with the topic of guns/violence, since I started to talk about it in the previous post.  This is an issue where I differ from others in my various "groups."  I have to admit that I struggle with this one.  I can see and agree with two different stances.  I will try my best to just simply share my thought process here.  I don't totally have this one settled in my own heart and mind. (I'm not going to talk about the use of guns by other people, I'm approaching this from the angle of my own personal use, as I am the only person I can control)

The US Constitution acknowledges the right to bear arms in the 2nd amendment.  I get it.  It seems reasonable to me for people to have the right to protect themselves, their families, and their property.  I believe people have the right to hunt for their food, and when the nation was founded, that was probably a much more common use for a gun.  I believe the intent of the statement though was in regards to citizens enabled to stand against a tyrannical government, not hunting.  I do not disagree with the 2nd amendment in any way.

I love the book Ender's Game. (spoilers ahead)  The author dives deep into the thoughts of a super genius little boy.  At age 6, Ender is being bullied in school. He realizes that this bully won't stop because of kindness, or calm words, or any other method but a return of force.  So he fights back.  His intent is to not only win this fight, but all future fights as well. He goes all out and brutally beats the bully, going so far that the kid ends up dying.  I was intrigued by Ender's reasoning.  When it comes to certain individuals, or groups, or nations, they are so intent on murder, they won't be stopped by being nice.  That said, I do believe in trying diplomacy first.  Always try to settle issues before turning to violence.

I began thinking about foreign relations.  Islam is an ideology bent on world domination by either conversion or death.  The terrorists' idea of peace means that everyone is a Muslim.  So if someone refuses to convert, they are to be killed.  That kind of bully ideology isn't going to be changed by giving them money as some of our government agents have tried to do.  They haven't stopped.  This leads me to believe that they must be stopped from their rampant violent crusades by deadly force.  This seems to be the logical conclusion. To me, this seems like a justified reason to go to war.  

But.....
I am a Christian.  This leads me down a different path. Jesus didn't defend himself.  When they came to arrest Him, His friend Peter pulled out a sword and chopped off the ear of one of the soldiers. (He was probably aiming for his head)  Jesus didn't like this and put the man's ear back on and healed it.  He didn't defend Himself or fight back when they hauled Him off to be brutally beaten and crucified.  In His famous sermon on the mount, He challenged the idea of an eye for an eye, teaching instead to turn the other cheek and when forced to do something, go even further.  The example of Jesus does not line up with my human reasoning of justified defense or violence.

I realize the Old Testament is full of violent wars, but I have some different ideas on that as well. Some would suggest that all those tribes that Israel was told to kill off were made up of Nephilim.  The fallen angels corrupted the genetic line of man and therefore those people were abominations, not actual humans.  I've also heard a theory that God didn't actually tell them to go out and kill, but to let Him take care of them.  There are some stories where it is clear that God did the killing, no human assistance needed.  Jericho for one.  I read a book called Cross Vision by Gregory A. Boyd.  That's where some of these ideas came from. I don't totally buy into all that he said, not even recommending the book for anyone other than a mature believer.  I am just pointing to him as I ponder other ideas. Some of what he says makes a lot of sense.  God has been known to wipe out whole towns, (and once the whole earth) that had become so morally corrupt they were beyond repair. He is God.  He is Just. He is all knowing.  He gets to make those kinds of decisions, not me.

So where does that leave me?  Do I own a gun because I have the right?  No.  Do I get mad at fellow believers who do?  No.  Many of my good friends and respected leaders are gun owners who believe strongly in self defense.  Why not me?  I don't even kill bugs.  (except ants)  I hate to see any living creature hurt.  Yes, I realize that I do eat meat, but I don't like to think about where it comes from.  I don't believe I would be capable of shooting at a human being.  I think/hope I would be willing to sacrifice myself for another, but I can't imagine going so far as to kill a bad guy.  That seems too much like playing God to me.  I am not sold on the death penalty either.  Who am I to decide when someone's time is up?

A favorite exchange from the show Firefly... Shepherd Book is a preacher of sorts.  The crew is in a shootout and Zoe questions if his religion has something to say about killing people.  "Quite specific, it is however somewhat fuzzier on the subject of kneecaps."  I find this one quiet accurate.  If I had to, I would hopefully shoot to wound, not kill.

As I discussed my views with a friend, he asked a hard question.  He laid out a hypothetical situation where we were with another friend of ours and encountered a gunman with evil intent...  He asked, "what if I were shot, would you pick up my gun and defend our friend?"  My initial response was that I'd protect her and sacrifice myself, then I realized that would be pointless because once I was gone, he'd kill my friend anyway.  I guess we'd all be dead and in heaven, but our friends would be sad.  So maybe it's ok to get shot if we know we're saved.

What if you were thrown in the ring as a gladiator?  Is it ok to kill the other guy just because he's trying to kill you? Many would say self defense is a right. I think self preservation is a natural instinct, but as a Christian, we don't fear death.  Why prolong life if it means killing another person?  Stay alive just to be put through this horror again and again?  Why?  So, moving on, I don't think this scenario is too likely in this day an age.

That brings us to the topic of defense of others.  I pointed to how Jesus didn't defend Himself, but what about protecting the people around us.  That seems like a good idea in line with typical Biblical themes.  Jesus did rebuke Peter for defending Him, but was that an across the board standard, or just for that situation since Jesus knew this all had to happen?  The only other story that comes to mind is Jesus protecting the woman caught in adultery from the religious mob that wanted to stone her.  He didn't do it with violence though.

The story I think of is a more modern day tale.  The true story of the Machine Gun Preacher, made into a movie starring Gerard Butler.  As I recall, Sam Childers led a really rough life of crime and violence before getting saved.  He later went on a mission trip to Uganda and found his niche.  Sam learned of the LRA. Joseph Kony and his soldiers were kidnapping children and turning them into soldiers, forcing them to commit atrocious acts.  Brutal, disgusting, horrifying tortures inflicted on the communities he attacked.  This man decided he could use the skills he'd once used for evil to now protect the children, so he moved to Africa to protect an orphanage. The LRA was the kind of group that was only going to be stopped with violent force. The local army hadn't been able to stop him.  I can see no argument against protecting children from this kind of vile life destroying evil. The children are helpless.  It is our duty as adults to protect them from harm.  I find this part of the issue justified and right.

I think that is the extent of my pondering.  I enjoy having ethical debates with myself in the hours I spend driving around on my job.  I try to counter my own arguments.  I think through the conflicts in the movie I watched the day before.  I consider what might I have done? What is the right thing to do?  What might make doing the right thing more difficult?  I realize that in any given moment, making a quick decision is crazy difficult, so I like to think through as much as I can before that moment arrives. Fear is a powerful motivator, so if I were facing down a bad guy with a gun, would I grab my downed friend's gun and use it?  I don't know.

As I said, this is an issue that I still struggle in finding a solid ground for my values.  I hope and pray that I never have to make a choice like this, but if I do, God direct my moves.

How I Think About the Issues

Howdy!  It's been awhile since I wrote anything.  I've had so many things running through my head lately, topics too big to even think about writing out.  But I have to start somewhere.  So here goes...

I am a delivery driver, so I have a lot of time to do some deep thinking.  I like to think about current topics that are causing difficulty in our world.  I like to explore the "what if" questions.  I like to think about the suggested fixes that are thrown around and follow rabbit trails. I like to question the narrative.  I don't want to just blindly accept what I'm being told.  I like to think I have an open mind and am willing to at least consider other possible information.  I am aware that I cannot possibly know for sure about much of anything.  I'm not on the front lines, I'm not in the hospitals, I'm not in the President's private meetings...  I'm just looking at the information those in charge are giving us, and I'm applying my own personal knowledge and experience.  That's really all any of us can do.

So with that said, the point of my blog is to share my own thoughts on any given topic.  Public discourse these days is so volatile and pointless most of the time.  We can't get across all pertinent information in a meme or a Tweet.  The problem with actual discussion is that we often start in different places.  Successful debate requires some common ground, and when people start with wrong assumptions about the other person, or a completely different set of "facts," that common ground is difficult to find.  We've developed a system where the different sides have believed lies about the motives and beliefs of the other.  That doesn't allow for good healthy productive discussion.

I am going to try to sit down and write out my thoughts on a topic and hopefully others will read it and have a civil response to it.  It's difficult to explore every corner of a topic, so I would ask that no one extrapolate on what I've said to determine what I think on something I didn't mention.  If I didn't cover something, just ask me.  I also acknowledge that I don't know everything.  I can't.  I am working with limited knowledge, and I'm open to new knowledge that may alter my views.  If I don't know something, I can't include it in my thoughts.

To start, I want to talk about our assumptions.  When looking at a problem, I think we all want to start by finding the ideal result. Usually the two sides agree on the problem, but they don't always agree on the solution, so wild accusations start flying and nothing gets done.  So I want to look at the process on a topic.  I'm just focusing on the thoughts, not the actual issue.  This is just an example. Not all aspects are covered here.

Ex: Evil people are going into schools and shooting kids.  We don't want this to happen.
Now as we begin to try to solve this problem, I think we need to move from the ideal to the reality.  One solution that has been implemented is putting up "Gun Free Zone" signs.  OK, so let's talk about the assumption behind this solution. All people are good and law abiding, so everyone will obey this sign.  Um... Obviously that is not true.  Another solution some are suggesting is ban all guns.  This solution assumes that all people are bad and can't therefore be trusted with guns.  Again, the millions of legal gun owners who don't shoot people prove this assumption false as well.  It also assumes that criminals will turn in their guns.

So where does that leave us?  What is the truth about people?  Some personal beliefs come into play here.  I believe we all have a sin nature, so at base level we are selfish, but I also believe that we are capable of overcoming that selfishness to varying degrees.  We can make choices to put others first. We can sacrifice ourselves for another  This is the good in human nature.  The ability to overcome our worst qualities.  So I then believe that most people are mostly good.  I think the majority of the people I've met have good intentions and don't want to go around hurting others.  But there are a few that are allowing their evil side to rule, and those people are the reason we have these discussions.

A "Gun Free Zone" sign will work for good law-abiding people.  Background checks will work for people who haven't previously committed a crime. But somehow, felons are still able to get a gun, even just one day out of prison.  Not legally of course, and that is the point.  You can make all the laws in the world to stop law-abiding people, but by definition, criminals break laws.  After every shooting, the details emerge showing how many laws were broken, not even counting the murder laws.  Criminals break laws.

In seeking a solution, we must consider that there are many good people, and also a few bad ones.  We can ask people not to bring guns to school, but at the same time we have to be realistic and consider the possibility of encountering a bad person.  We have to have solutions in place for the low percentage "what if?"  We can't assume that all people are good, as well as also not assuming all people are bad.  We also can't assume a person is 100% good or bad either.  It just doesn't work that way.

Another angle to consider during the problem solving session is the "why?"  This one is much more difficult to deal with.  The shootings are a symptom.  The actual problem is deep and I don't think the secular world is capable of addressing it.  This part of the solution is on the church.  Psychiatrists and all those kinds of people can probably do some good, but ultimately, the issue is sin in the heart of man.  Government isn't going to do anything about that, so they just have to stick to the other parts of the problem.

I'm going to stop there because my purpose in this post is not to discuss the issue, but the thought process behind the solving of the issue.  I like to push people to think about how they think.  Ask the questions, find the motives and assumptions and apply them to the problem-solving.  We must be realistic as we search for ways to fix what is wrong in our world.

Please let me know if you liked what I've written here.  Share your own thoughts.  Thanks for stopping by.  Hopefully I'll be putting out more elaborate posts soon about the actual issues I'm thinking through.  😎