Fear is not your friend. We all face fear every day in some form. It is probably the greatest tactic the enemy throws at us. In this part I am going to focus on the fear that causes us to make choices that go against our own values. These thoughts were sparked by the recent sexual assault accusation explosion in Hollywood. People are asking why no one came forward earlier, why they won't name names....
I have spent my life observing people, so most of my thoughts on this come from that place. Maybe a little from tv and movies too. I enjoy ethical dilemmas in fiction. I enjoy pondering those seemingly no-win situations. What is the right thing to do?
How many times have we heard someone say "I know it was wrong, but I didn't have a choice!" ? I'm sure many of us have been there. I want to suggest that we always have a choice. The choices may not look good to us, but we always get to choose.
Let's start big. Gladiators. They are slaves, stripped of all rights, thrown into a fight with the choice of "kill or be killed." Tough choice. Most would fight and try to be the one left standing in the end. But is that right? Fear of death spurs most people to defend themselves. I wonder if that justifies killing another human being?
I watch a lot of crime tv shows. Many times the murderer ends up admitting they killed the person because they were about to rat them out for something. Fear of getting in trouble for something smaller led them to commit murder.
How about fornication? How many times have we heard of a girl who slept with her boyfriend because she was afraid he'd leave her if she didn't? Fear pushed her past where she was comfortable. What about abuse? Why do people stay with their abusers? Fear of being alone is a big one for most of us. We will stay in horrible situations because at least we have someone to be with.
Our school experience presented us with the idea of peer pressure. Drink this, smoke that, wear this, don't wear that.... No one wants to be rejected, so we learn quickly how to fit in, blend in, don't stand out, don't be yourself. The fear of what other people think of us probably shapes our behavior more than anything else. We don't want to be rejected and outcast.
Lies are easy. Have you ever lied to keep from getting in trouble? Probably. I know I have. I think we would all say that lying is wrong, but yet we've all done it. Why? Fear. Fear of getting in trouble is often the reason.
I think a lot of us break our own moral codes at work for fear of losing our jobs. I know I've been asked to do things I didn't think were right. There were times when I caved, and times when I stood firm. When corporate comes to visit and inspect, we are expected to pretend everything is going according to the standards. We hide the mess, we make everything look perfect. It's all a lie. I ran a department for a time, and when the visit came, I told the truth. It got my bosses in some trouble. Next time the visitor came, I was cornered beforehand by two bosses trying to coach me on what to say. They realized I wouldn't lie, so they were trying to give me ways to tell the truth that would still sound like a lie to the visitor from HQ. I had to reach a place of trust in God that kept me from that fear of being fired. Once that fear is gone, you are free to do what you think is right.
I think you get the idea. Fear of so many different things can cause us to go around the boundaries of morality that we believe in. But what if we held the line? What if we chose to do what we know to be right, even if it costs us?
Jackie Robinson is my hero. He was so much more than a baseball player. Branch Rickey, owner of the Dodgers, asked Jackie to play ball and have the courage to not fight back. If you've seen the movie, you know just a small picture of the abuse he took on the field and off. All of us would probably consider it justified if he did fight back. But he didn't. And he won. He won their respect and acceptance by "doing the right thing." If he'd lost his temper and hit someone, even one time, I don't think he would have accomplished what he did. I think it would have been years before another black man would be given a chance to play.
Fear will not lead to anything good in the long run. Fear is simply a tool of the devil. His plan is to destroy you, so why play his game?
It is my belief that we would be wise to take a look at our own idea of what is good and what is important. Work with Papa God to determine what your priorities are in life and then determine to not violate those priorities.
When I moved to Redding, I did so to attend Bethel church. My job had me working at 4am, so my ability to go to evening services was hampered. I had a choice. Church or work? I could skip church so that I could work, or I could go to church and be really tired in the morning at work. I was not very consistent with that choice, eventually I just skipped evening services. I got a second job that kept scheduling me on the night I had home group. I quit that job because it violated my priority of connection with my home group family. I needed the money, but I chose my priority of relationship over money.
If you are a parent, do you choose time with family, or working more hours to earn money to support your family? That's a hard one. Does your job ask you to cheat or do things that are illegal or dangerous? Do you refuse? How many horrific events in history could have been stopped by someone who chose to stand up and do the right thing instead of "just doing his job?" How many times has fear of being fired or worse kept people quiet? How many of those young starlets in Hollywood slept with some creepy old man because their aspirations to fame were bigger than their disgust at this man?
Knowing what is most important to you and determining not to violate those things will help you to stand strong in the face of fear. I'm not at all belittling the power of fear, but I'm choosing to put my eyes on someOne that is way bigger!
In the next part I will share some of how I have learned faith over fear in a couple areas of my life. I still have many parts of my life still bound in fear, but I hope that in reviewing the times it's gone well, I will be motivated, and hopefully you will be too, to trust God with everything.
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